2000 Sharpie 500 Fantasy Edition 2

NASCAR 2000 Season Fantasy Edition (Sharpie 500 @ Bristol Motor Speedway, August 27th, 2000)Edit


  • Curse-words will be censored out by *bleep*s.

Car Numbers, Sponsors, Manufacturers, and DriversEdit

  1. 1 Pennzoil Chevrolet (Jimmy Neutron)
  2. 2 Miller Lite Ford (Rudy Tabootie)
  3. 3 GM Goodwrench Chevrolet (Eddy "The Intimidator" McRich)
  4. 4 Kodak Chevrolet (Remy Buxaplenty) 
  5. 5 Kelloggs Corn Flakes Chevrolet (Imaginary Gary)
  6. 6 Valvoline Ford (Professor Finbarr Calamitous)
  7. 7 PHILLIPS Nation's Rent Chevrolet (Wanda)
  8. 8 Budweiser Chevrolet (Homer Simpson)
  9. 9 Kodiak Ford (Mojo Jojo)
  10. 10 Aaron's Pontiac (Jimmy from "Ed, Edd n Eddy")
  11. 12 Mobil 1 Ford (Snap White)
  12. 14 Conseco Pontiac (Nelson Muntz)
  13. 16 TV Guide Ford (Buttercup Simpson)
  14. 17 DEWALT Power Tools Ford (Evil Jimmy Clone)
  15. 18 Interstate Batteries Pontiac (Ed"Lumpy" Monobrow)
  16. 19 MOTOROLA Ford (Eduardo)
  17. 20 Home Depot Pontiac (Eddward "Double-D" Marion)
  18. 21 CITGO Ford (Princess Morbucks)
  19. 22 CATERPILLAR Pontiac (Sandy Cheeks)
  20. 24 DUPONT Chevrolet (Timmy Turner)
  21. 25 Michael Holigan Chevrolet (Trixie Tang)
  22. 26 KMART Ford (Terrence Kazoo) *filling in for Bubble Bass*
  23. 28 TEXACO Havoline Ford (Sheldon J. Plankton)
  24. 31 LOWE'S Chevrolet (Blooreguard Q. "Bloo" Kazoo)
  25. 32 Tide Ford (Blossom Neutron) (playoff contender)
  26. 33 Oakwood Homes Chevrolet (Mac Kazoo)
  27. 36 M&Ms Pontiac (Spongebob Squarepants)
  28. 40 Coors Light Chevrolet (Bart Simpson)
  29. 42 Bellsouth Chevrolet (Cindy Vortex)
  30. 43 STP Pontiac (Bubbles Turner)
  31. 44 Hot Wheels Pontiac (Kevin Shovelchin)
  32. 45 Spree/Sprint Chevrolet (Sheen Estevez)
  33. 55 Square-D Chevrolet (Stanley S. Squarepants)
  34. 60 Power Team Chevrolet (Francis Bull-E)
  35. 66 Route 66 KMART Ford (Fuzzy Lumpkins)
  36. 71 Real Tree Chevrolet (Cosmo)
  37. 75 Redcell Ford (Patrick Star)
  38. 77 JASPER Ford (Rolf)
  39. 88 Quality Care Ford (Lisa Simpson)
  40. 93 Amoco Pontiac (Evil Officer Mike Brikowski)
  41. 94 McDonald's Ford (Squidward Tentacles)
  42. 97 John Deere Ford (Penny Sanchez)
  43. 99 EXIDE Batteries Ford (Denzel Crocker)

Race WinnerEdit

  • 40 Coors Light Chevrolet (Bart Simpson)

Number Of LapsEdit

  • 500

Number Of CautionsEdit

  • 20

Fights/Brawls/Confrontations Edit

  • Princess Morebucks vs. Lisa Simpson (Lap 472 / After Lisa Simpson attempted to take the 9th position coming off Turn #4, she unintentionally caused a 2-car wreck, involving Morebucks and Cosmo. The next time Lisa passed by (under caution), Morebucks angrily threw her helmet at Lisa's window net, then Morebucks threw an attitude on her interview with Wally Dallenbach)


Quote 1Edit

  • (wiki-special opens inside the Bristol Motor Speedway around 4:30 pm outside Spongebob, Patrick, and Sandy's hauler while Sandy, Spongebob, Patrick, Ed, Bart, Buttercup, Timmy, Bubbles, Rudy, and Snap eating dinner)
  • Timmy: Well, this is it guys and gals! The Sharpie 500 at the always-exciting Bristol Motor Speedway, the WRESTLING MATCH of NASCAR!
  • Rudy: This is the only racetrack on the circuit that's a coliseum. A lot of tempers flare at this place.
  • Sandy: Yeah! Who can forget that time Dale Earnhardt Sr wrecked Terry Labonte after he won?! (Referring to the 1995 Goody's 500 @ Bristol)
  • Bart: Or that time Dale Earnhardt payed Terry Labonte back with a spin-out in Turn #1 and won the race?! (referring to the 1999 Goody's Headache Powder 500 @ Bristol)
  • Buttercup: Bristol Motor Speedway is MY kind of racetrack to kick bumper! Especially where I'll put that Mojo Jojo in the wall!
  • Timmy: I call Bristol Motor Speedway the wrestling arena of NASCAR. Not only the racing here is good, but a lot of tempers and fits are thrown here.
  • Sandy: If stupid Imaginary Gary throws his helmet at my window-net after I put him in the wall tonight, he's gonna get the bull's horns from me! Bristol is MY kind of bullring! YEE-HAW!
  • Bubbles (worried): I h-h-hope the Bristol track doesn't make me claustrophobic! *tears up*
  • Timmy: Awww.. don't worry, Bubbles. It's only 500 laps, and it'll be over before you know it.
  • Bubbles: Thanks, Timmy.
  • Spongebob: I wish this Bristol Motor Speedway was the 2nd home of the Krabby Patty.
  • Sandy: Dang-gummit, Spongebob, that's ridiculous!
  • Ed: Can the Bristol Motor Speedway be home to the robots in "I Was A Teenage Mutant Robot" who takes cars and eats them for Sunday supper?!
  • Bubbles: *shrieks* Come on, Ed! *cries in Timmy's arms*
  • Timmy (while hugging a crying Bubbles): Uh, Ed. Haven't your stupid monster-movie tales scared Bubbles enough this year?
  • Ed: I forget?
  • Patrick: Can I live in this Bristol bowl and put a huge rock on it?
  • Snap: Patrick, that's stupid!
  • Patrick: Says who?
  • Snap: *annoyed groan*
  • Timmy: Hey, Bubs, I spoke to PRN Radio's Doug Rice this morning. He said he would like to feature you on his Tuesday radio show, "PRN Fast Talk" this week. Doug Rice also said that you are the most talented and kindest female driver ever, and he gave you his warm regards. He's commentating the race tonight in the PRN booth along with Mark Garrow.
  • Bubbles: He is?! I can't wait! He has such a sweet and positive attitude!
  • Sandy: Doug Rice seems like a nice dude alright. He can call a race as well as anybody.
  • Ed: Like loudspeakers?
  • Sandy: *annoyed groan* *scene cuts to Edd being interviewed by PRN's Brett McMillan*

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Quote 4Edit

  • ("ESPN Speedworld Theme" plays)
  • Allen Bestwick (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering loudly in the background): We're here live from the world's fastest half-mile known as Bristol Motor Speedway for tonight's running of the Sharpie 500! This world-famous short-track is best nicknamed "The Last Great Coliseum", and is famous for it's wrecks, high-banks, tempers, and fights. It is REALLY tough to get around this place, and only the winner will take home the signature Bristol Motor Speedway trophy. Hello everyone, this is Allen Bestwick alongside former NASCAR Champion and race analyst, Benny Parsons, and former NASCAR driver, Wally Dallenbach. Bob Jenkins couldn't make it this evening due to illness, and wish him a full recovery and that he'll be back in Darlington next week. (foreshadowng the "2000 Mountain Dew Southern 500 Fantasy Edition" wiki) Guys, this race has always been the most difficult racetrack to keep your cool, ESPECIALLY when it comes to the night race here in the "Wrestling Ring" of NASCAR.
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering loudly in the background): Indeed it is, Allen! Who can forget back in 1999 when Dale Earnhardt spun Terry Labonte out in Turn #1 on the last lap to win the Goody's Headache Powder 500, or the time when Jeff Gordon bumped Rusty Wallace outta the way to win the 1997 Food City 500? Maybe tonight, we'll see somethin' similar to those fantastic Bristol finishes we've seen in the past, cause this night race at Bristol is gonna be one to never forget, I guarantee it!
  • Wally Dallenbach (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering loudly in the background): And another thing that these new NASCAR Team Championship drivers NEED to know about Bristol Motor Speedway is that it's a 1-groove racetrack, and it is extremely difficult to make a pass here. The bottom groove is the best part of the racetrack. You slip up into the the corners, it's gonna kill your exit and you will be hanging up there and losing positions until you finally see an opening and gets back to the low groove of the racetrack. I gotta say, this track can be really treacherous.
  • Allen Bestwick (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering loudly in the background): There are 3 races to go before the playoffs begin and there are 3 spots left for drivers who can get in with a win in these last 3 races of the regular season. Bart Simpson badly needs a win in order to join his wife in the playoffs, and Bart said on his pre-race interview with Dr. Jerry Punch that the Bristol Motor Speedway IS the place for him to clinch that win and punch his ticket into the playoffs come September in Springfield (foreshadowing the "2000 Krusty Burger 400 Fantasy Edition" wiki).
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering loudly in the background): Indeed, Allen. Buttercup punched in her ticket to the playoffs with her win at Pocono (in reference to the "2000 Pocono 500 Fantasy Edition" wiki) and now this is Bart's opportunity to try and punch in HIS ticket to the postseason with a win here in the Bristol night race. After all, Bart said this is his favorite facility to race on, I'm goin' for the #40 Coors Light Chevrolet tonight cause I know Bart will get it done!
  • Wally Dallenbach (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering loudly in the background): I agree with the both of ya, because Bart was 1st fastest in Happy Hour yesterday and he KNOWS every inch of this racetrack. What Bart and the rest of Team Fastex NEEDS to know is that the Team REXCOR drivers will be ALL OVER them tonight and for the last 3 races of the regular season. They are SO desperate to lock their drivers into the playoffs, and at this time with 3 races to go before the playoffs, REXCOR will race more aggressive in order to squeeze in a few of their drivers into the playoff grid. So Bart and the rest of Team Fastex had better watch their backs tonight and during these last 3 races of the regular season.
  • Allen Bestwick (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering loudly in the background): Can Bart Simpson win tonight's Sharpie 500 and punch his ticket into the postseason? And will Team Fastex continue to dominate this evening and for the last 3 races of the regular season? We'll find out in 500 laps! The drivers are ready, the fans are ready, and WE'RE ready for the command in tonight's Sharpie 500, but since this is Bristol Motor Speedway, this command to fire the engines will have a special twist to it. We now go trackside!
  • Track P.A Announcer: *WWE bell dinging is heard in the background*... And now for the most famous words in all of motorsports, BRISTOL-STYLE, here's Michael Buffer!!!! *crowd cheers EXTREMELY loudly*
  • Michael Buffer: And now, the track is ready, the drivers are ready, ladies and gentlemen, are you ready?! *crowd cheers loudly* NASCAR fans, are you rrr...ready?! *crowd cheers loudly* There's only one thing to say, this is Bristol! So... LLL-LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE...!!!!! *crowd cheers EXTREMELY loudly in unison*
  • *engines start and rev loudly, in unison to the HYSTERICALLY cheering crowd* *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
  • Timmy (starting 6th): *starts his engine* Wow! Now this REALLY feels like a wrestling match! *scene cuts to Sandy's cockpit*
  • Sandy (starting 14th): *starts her engine* You said it, Tim! We're gonna fight them REXCOR drivers like bulls in a rodeo in this coliseum! YEE-HAW!!!!! *revs her engine loudly twice*

Quote 5Edit

  • Allen Bestwick (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering loudly): Glad you're with us on ESPN as we're about set to go in the Sharpie 500 at Bristol *crowd cheers louder has the pace-car pulls into the pits* The pace-car has pulled into pit-road, as Cosmo Godparent and Bloo Kazoo bring the field down the stripe! *cars accelerate to take the green flag waved by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, in unison to the HYSTERICALLY cheering crowd*... "Stone Cold" Steve Austin waves the green flag and we are underway in the Sharpie 500! *cars race around Bristol for a lap* Cosmo Godparent leads Lap #1! Blossom Neutron had some trouble getting up to speed, she's going now to the back of the field! Princess Morebucks and Nelson Muntz are racing for 3rd! *scene cuts to Cosmo's cockpit*
  • (in Turn #4 and the whole 3rd lap)
  • Cosmo (in 1st / singing): The wheels on the bus go round and round--!
  • Wanda (battling for the 28th position / voice only): Cosmo! Less singing, more LEADING!
  • Cosmo (in 1st): Sorry, Wanda! *scene cuts to Bloo's cockpit*
  • Bloo (in 2nd): Enough singing your stupid kiddy sh--*bleep* and LEAD THE FU--*bleep*--ING RACE!
  • Edd (in 40th / voice only): *groans* The GALL of your horrendous language, Bloo! *scene cuts back to the track*

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Quote 9Edit

  • (Lap 79 out of 500 laps)
  • Allen Bestwick (ESPN): The green flag's out, and we're back racing, and Sheldon J. Plankton is the leader on the restart! *cars race in Turns 1 & 2, then race down the backstretch, then Plankton clipped Wanda (in unison, Wanda screams as she hits the wall) into the outside retaining wall, and causes Bloo, Sandy, Penny, Morebucks, Bubbles, Rolf and Ed to wreck in Turn #3*
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN): *exclaims at Plankton's hit on Wanda* CRASH! Sheldon J. Plankton! Wanda Godparent!
  • Wally Dallenbach (ESPN / as the other cars begin crashing): Here we go again!
  • Allen Bestwick (ESPN / while the cars were crashing): OH! A BIG pileup! Morebucks is in it! Sandy Cheeks's in it! Ed Monobrow has spun! Bloo Kazoo--!
  • Wally Dallenbach (ESPN / as the cars were crashing): *exclaims at Rolf's hit on Bloo* Kazoo gets nailed!
  • Allen Bestwick ESPN): Rolf Shepherd had hit Kazoo!

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Quote 23Edit

  • (Coming to Lap 472 out of 500 laps)
  • Doug Rice (PRN Radio): It's a mad scramble for the 9th position here in Bristol (in unison, Morebucks and Edd scream as they lose control and crash* *with sudden realization* as Lisa Simpson gets into Morebucks! Morebucks spins and spanks the inside retaining wall, collecting Cosmo Godparent in the melee! (in unison, Edd cries out "THE AGONY!!!!" in his parked wrecked racecar) A HARD lick against the inside retaining wall for Morebucks! *scene cuts to ESPN Broadcast Booth*
  • Allen Bestwick (ESPN): We are now under the 12th Servicemaster Clean caution flag *scene cuts back to the track* as Princess Morebucks and pole-sitter, Cosmo Godparent wreck on the frontstretch on Lap 472 here in the night race at Bristol.

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  • Since this is the 2000 season, the commentators on TV (ESPN) will be Allen Bestwick, Benny Parsons (1941-2007), and Wally Dallenbach
  • The radio commentators (PRN Radio) for this wiki-race will be Mark Garrow & Doug Rice (in the booth), and Rob Albright (Turns 1 & 2 & backstretch)
  • The TV pit reporters (ESPN) will be Bill Weber, Dr. Jerry Punch, Marty Schneider, Matt Yocum, and Glen Jarrett.
  • The radio pit reporters (PRN Radio) will be Brett McMillan, Pat Patterson, Steve Richards, Jim Noble, Brad Gillie, Wendy Venturini, Hermie Sadler, and Brendan Gaughan.
  • This is one of the races that Bob Jenkins (ESPN) is absent.
  • This wiki-race is the most exciting, challenging, and most temperous night races of the year.

Bristol Motor Speedway (Night)Edit

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